This is my third or fourth attempt at writing a review of Barbie 2023. Those of my previous attempts that weren’t deleted will never see the light of day.
I wanted to explain how the film is Damage Control for Corporate Feminism. If you want to hear me explain why, you’ll have to treat me to a drink and meal at Wetherspoons. I can express this idea quite eloquently in speech, just not in writing.
So what is this essay about?
This is an Elite Theory Analysis. What sort of Elite is Barbie?
Around halfway through the film, Barbie goes to Mattel Head-Quarters, where the all-male Board of Directors try to force her into a box.
Barbie is hesitant, so Mattel CEO Will Ferrell tries to persuade her. At one point, he gets frustrated and calls her a “Jezebel”.
Who was Jezebel?
Jezebel was the wife and queen of Ahab, king of Samaria. Her story comes from 1 Kings, Chapter 21. The story goes thus:
Ahab, King of Samaria, asks Naboth if he can have his vineyard. Naboth says no. Ahab is distressed, so Jezebel promises to get him the vineyard.
Jezebel sends a letter to the people who run Naboth’s home city. She tells them to put Naboth in a “prominent place among the people”, and then hire some goons to accuse him of “cursing God and the king”.
They do this thing, and Naboth is stoned to death.
How do Barbie and her allies reclaim Barbieland?
The Plan: Make the Kens distracted so they forget to vote in the Barbieland Constitutional Referendum.
This plan has two phases:
1. Make all the Kens think that their Barbie of choice really likes them.
2. At the height of the Kens’ euphoria, pretend to receive a text from a different Ken, and go to them instead.
This plan works, and while the Kens are fighting each other, the Barbies successfully fortify the vote in their favour.
After the Kens reconcile in the film’s best musical number, they realise what has happened.
Was Noah Baumbach aware of this when he wrote the script?
If you ever see this review Mr. Baumbach, do not attempt to contact me.
For other excellent reviews of Barbie, please watch Paul Vanderklay, who is on YouTube.